Taste of Perfection
by Pwnguin
Summary: Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection. Justin/Alex/Dean.


**A/N: Okay, so it's not the most original idea ever, but I have some phrases in my head that would sound so much better in words. Hope you like. (: I was thinking that this fic could have gone either AU or incest, but as I'm writing it, incest makes a lot more sense. I warned you. This will most likely be my last fic before returning to school, and there won't be much writing until summer, so make the most of it... somehow...  
Song: Thinking Of You by Katy Perry. Again, some lyrics removed.**

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Taste Of Perfection  
**by Pwnguin

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection_

Perfection. No one can achieve the state of it within themselves, they say. Sometimes, though, she believes that the state of perfection can be between two people or in a moment, perhaps even both. When asked about perfection, she says she has experienced the beauty of perfection, not within herself, but with the one she loved. You may have presumed it was with Dean, but no one saw the truth in her eyes. She would muster up a smile, a fake one of course, but you would have never believed she was sad for a second.

Behind her smile, she was hiding a secret, a secret darker than her eyes and deeper than her love. She would never tell a soul, not her parents, not her best friend, and definitely not the one she called her "boyfriend". Revealing her real love would sink her down into a bottomless pit of quicksand, with no hope of ever reaching the surface. She found herself almost telling Dean, she couldn't stand the pain he could be feeling if he knew she was unfaithful. He was completely oblivious. Somewhere inside of her, she couldn't seem to grasp that concept.

What was Alex Russo hiding?

_You said move on  
Where do I go_

This was her state of perfection. Arms around him, his lips pressed against hers, his body so close that she could suffocate, but just far enough to keep from losing her breath. She loved the feeling of air being crushed out of her body; that was her favorite part of the state of perfection. If she had it her way, they would stay in this state for the rest of eternity.

Justin Russo could not stay in one place for all of eternity. He enjoyed Alex's perfection, yes, but he believed that the feeling he received from all of this was just due to a stimulant in the brain and hormones. He knew he loved Alex, he knew he liked holding her and feeling the warmth of her lips against his, but he knew it was only temporary. He knew this was wrong. He thought it was just a phase. He didn't think his heart was involved in it at all.

"Alex," he whispered, releasing his hold on her, slowly parting her lips from his own. She breathed, finally getting air into her lungs. He smiled and sent shivers throughout Alex's skin.

"Justin," she said enticingly, taking his gesture in a completely different way.

"We can't do this," he sighed, taking every syllable of his speech into meaning. "We have to stop." If love has a scientific explanation, then there is a scientific explanation to stop. He just has to get a hold of himself and let it go.

"But we're already here," she argued. "It's too late." She proceeded to putting her arms around his neck and continuing the kiss.

He pulled away, grabbed her wrists and brought them down, "Stop," he ordered. She stopped, shocked at his behavior. "We... we can't be together, Alex." He almost doubted his words, but if he wants to stop, he has to be able to let himself to.

She laughed, "It's too late for that, Justin. We've already broken the rules. Why start being good kids now?"

"Because I'm a good kid, Alex," he said firmly. "Love doesn't exist. Why waste our time on something that isn't even real?" He's getting stronger at overcoming what he thinks is just a hormone.

She didn't answer. He continued, "If you want to experience this so much, why don't you find someone new?"

"Because I love _you, _Justin," she whimpered.

He shook his head, "Promise me you'll move on, Alex."

She nodded, lying to him and herself in the process. She would never move on. How can she move on when perfection was right in front of her? She forced a smile, something she'd be doing for the rest of her life if Justin moves on.

He got up to leave, and left her in tears.

_I guess second best  
Is all I will know_

Dean Moriaty. He was no Justin Russo, but he was enough. He was as close to perfection as Alex could get. He did not have the same hold on her, the same warm kiss that sent Alex into ecstasy, or the same smile that made her crazy, but he was enough. She found his New York accent cute, he had the reputation of a bad boy. Alex liked him, a lot, she would admit. She admits to falling in love with him. She almost believes it herself, but she knows she has not found love in Dean.

He greets her with a smile, she musters up what she can. Apparently she's gotten better at acting, because he believes every word, gesture, and smile she has ever given. She doesn't know how she lives without her perfection, but somehow, she can.

She sees Justin everyday, and everyday he treats her as normal as possible. He doesn't look at her with loving eyes or a wanting glare. He treats her as any older brother would. He acts like nothing happened between them, he seems to be unfazed by the moments he shared with her before. He's happy for Alex and Dean. He treats Dean like his brother. Alex wonders if it's all an act, or he really has moved on.

She can't bring herself to think that. She hasn't moved on, not a bit. If she can't bring herself to think she's moved on, how can she believe that he's moved on?

Dean kisses her lips once again. She doesn't feel a thing. She doesn't feel anymore. She isn't sure if she'll ever feel again.

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you_

"Russo," he whispers gently in her ear, tickling the skin. When she hears him, all she can imagine is her real love whispering the sweet nothings gently into her ear. She has developed a sense where she only hears Justin. Dean's words become Justin's when he speaks. She stares into his eyes and sees nothing but Justin looking back at her. He caresses her face, and she feels her brother's touch against her cheek. "You wanna hang out after school, just you and me?"

"I'd love to Ju - Dean," she says, slipping up for the first time in a while. She kisses him, driving the thought of Justin away. She feels Dean smiling underneath her lips.

"Cool. So I'll see you at the Sub Station then?" he asks, releasing her. She's thankful he let go. She's afraid that kissing Dean too long might make her forget what her perfection felt like.

She nods. She's dreading how she'll feel when Justin and Dean are in the same place. She's afraid of slipping up. "Actually, Dean, can't we go somewhere a little more private? The Sub Station isn't exactly the place to have just you and me."

He smiles, "Of course. Anything for you. How 'bout we go over to my place, or see a movie, or go to a nice, fancy restaurant? How'd you like that?"

A smile creeps upon her lips; they're used to faking genuine happiness, "That sounds great." As the bell rings, she kisses him again. "Bye, Dean. I'll see you after school." He heads off in the opposite direction as she makes her way to class. In the rush, she bumps into someone in the hallway. Looking up, she sees Justin.

He glares at her, almost for a little too long. He opens his mouth to say something as Alex stares into his eyes. "Hey - um - well - see you... later?" he says.

She nods and swallows, "See ya." She can't help but wonder if they just shared a moment. An awkward moment, but a moment at the least.

_What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night?_

She had just spent three long hours with Dean. Every moment she shared gave her stomach a sick feeling. Maybe it was the pizza Dean referred to as "fancy" or the movie that could've used less blood and guts. She knows it's neither. She knows she's lying to Dean and herself. He walks her home, but not her home, his home. She doesn't argue. Going home would put her in front of Justin, the situation she would like to avoid. They stand at the door, he smiles at her. "Did you have fun tonight?"

She smiles, "I had a wonderful time, Dean. Thanks for taking me out. I guess I should get home." She begins to walk away, but he grabs her hand.

"Why don't you... stay?" he suggests. "For an hour, or two. I don't want you walking home alone."

She likes that he cares about her. "Okay." Soon she's inside and sitting on his couch. He turns on the TV and takes a seat next to her. His arm goes around her shoulder, and to make him happier, she snuggles in. They watch a movie that Alex couldn't remember the name of. When the movie reaches the end, Dean speaks.

"You're amazing, Russo, you know that?" he says.

She laughs, "Thank you, Dean."

"You're different from all the other girls," he continues. "We've been together for four months now. By now, I would've broken up with someone because they were unfaithful to me." He turns and smiles at her. "I always know if a girl is unfaithful to me, Russo."

She doesn't answer. Maybe he knows. Maybe he's making her admit the truth... or maybe he's being truly sincere.

"I _really _like you, Alex," he says her name for the first time. "I really do."

"I like you too, Dean," she smiles. She avoids saying anything about being unfaithful. Maybe she wasn't cheating on him, but she definitely wasn't being completely true to him. "I think what we have is special."

He kisses her, but she can't help but frown. When she's released, he asks, "So maybe I should be getting you home now."

"No, it's okay. Tomorrow's Saturday... I could... I could spend the night here." She'll do anything to avoid going home. "I'll call my parents and tell them I'm staying at Harper's... if that's okay with you."

He smiles, "Anything to keep you here."

_I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes_

She enters the Sub Station the following morning. Max is there wiping off a table. He looks up to his sister and asks, "Where were you last night?"

"I was at Harper's, duh," she lies. "Didn't Mom and Dad tell you?"

"Of course they did," Max answers as he takes a stack of dishes into the kitchen. Alex follows curiously, "But Justin and I didn't believe them." She watches her brother drop the stack of plates into the sink. He turns to her and commands, "Spill."

"Okay okay," she surrenders. "I stayed at Dean's after our date."

He looks at her, shocked, "Oh no, Mom and Dad are gonna - "

"Nothing happened, Max!" she shouts. "I just spent the night over there, why do you always assume something happens?"

He shrugs as he starts the dishes, "Because two people don't have a date and spend the night without something happening."

"Don't tell them, okay? They'll freak," she orders. Then she turns around and finds Justin. Her throat closes up.

"Tell who what," he asks suspiciously. His eyes pierce into Alex's accusingly; she can't help but stare, "Where were you last night?" He steps toward her, stealing the air around her. She feels her perfection coming in, but she knows it won't happen.

"I - I stayed over at Dean's," she stutters. "Don't tell Mom and Dad."

He smiles as if he's satisfied. Crossing his arms, he says, "Okay."

"Nothing happened, Justin!" she says. She doesn't want to make him think that she's cheating... even though she is clearly not.

"I'm not saying that," he says, backing away from her, still smiling.

"You're gonna tell Mom and Dad, aren't you?!" she accuses.

"No," he says. "I'm just really happy for you and Dean," he says sincerely. He wraps his arms around his sister and hugs her.

He's stealing her breath again, she can't help but want more. Weakly, she says, "Thanks, Justin." When he lets go, he's smiling. Her heart breaks. He really has moved on. "I'm... I'm just going to go upstairs now." She begins her ascent up the stairs and is crying before she reaches the top step.

_How do I get better  
Once I've had the best_

She decides she can't live in weakness any longer. She wants to love Dean completely; she wants to give him the love that he thinks he's already received. She has to accept that Justin is fully moved on, and she has to move on as well. With the strength of her remaining willpower, she will overcome her lost love, and accept the new one in.

She sneaks out of the house the same day, avoiding her parents and work at the Sub Station. To save time, she gets a cab straight to Dean's. When he opens the door, he's surprised.

"Russo," he says, letting her in. "What's up?"

"Dean, I can't hold it in any longer," she says, the lies tasting bitter on her tongue. She swallows and tries to get used to it. "I am completely in love with you. I can't imagine my life without you. You make me feel... loved." She bites her tongue, keeping the truth in her throat and in her head. It's only going to get worse if she doesn't move on now. If Justin could do it, so could she. She locks her lips on his before he can say anything.

Dean slowly backs off and smiles at her, "You had to tell me that at this moment? Why didn't you wait?"

"I couldn't," she says, and snags another kiss. "I couldn't wait to tell you," her lips press against his once again. "I had to tell you," Another kiss. "Now." She's out of breath. She can feel the lies running out. So she makes new ones, "I want you, Dean, only you."

"I want you too, Alex." He kisses her once again.

_He kissed my lips  
I taste your mouth_

Her throat closes . She feels his body close enough to suffocate her, but far enough to keep from dying. He suddenly lifts her up and carries her to his bedroom. She feels the springs of the bed sink underneath her. She shuts her eyes, and sees Justin. Suddenly, she forgets who she's kissing. Air crushes out of her body, and she tastes the sweetness she cannot explain. It's her perfection all over again.

"Alex," he whispers. It's no longer Dean's voice. She hears Justin. She doesn't say a word. So she continues kissing him. The moment should not be broken. She worked so hard to achieve this again, she was not letting this go.

She had finally accomplished what she thought wasn't possible. Her perfection with Dean... except she wasn't imagining Dean. Justin was in her head, on her lips, stealing her breath. Her tongue slides inside his lips, and she tastes Justin, and perfection.

"Alex," he whispers again. He mumbles something that Alex cannot comprehend.

"Justin?" she whispers so quietly, she hardly heard it herself. Dean doesn't notice, he lifts Alex up to play with her hair, and tasting her lips.

She holds his back, feeling Justin's strong muscles on her fingers. She hasn't moved on, but she doesn't realize it. She thinks she's in her brother's arms, which is why she's staying.

Dean doesn't notice her eyes are closed. He moves his hands to the buttons of her shirt.

_He pulled me in  
I was disgusted with myself_

Alex snaps back to reality. Her eyes open, and she sees Dean. She grabs Dean's hands, clenching them with her fingernails, "What are you doing?" she screams.

"I thought you wanted me, Alex," he says softly.

The tears build up in her eyes, her perfection was ruined. She wasn't with Justin at all. "I don't want _this._" Her mouth opens to spill the truth, but Dean covers it before it all lets loose.

"I thought you loved me."

"I don't love you!" the truth came out. With tears streaming down her face, the truth finally explodes out of her mouth, the pressure could hardly contain itself. "I don't love you at all! Justin told me to move on so I did, but it just didn't work!" She climbs out of the bed. "You're _disgusting _Dean, if you thought I came all the way over here for that."

"So you were lying to me!" he accuses. "You came over here to tell me you loved me, and then you tell me you're _not_? What did you come here for Alex? Tell me the truth this time."

"I came over here to let go. I came here to build up my strength and get over Justin. I came here to force myself to _love you,_" she admits.

"Love isn't forced, Russo," he says. "If you didn't love me, why did you lie to me? Why did you make me believe you were different from everyone else?"

She doesn't answer.

"Get out, Alex Russo. Go tell your brother the truth. He deserves it too." She's at the front of his door, and the door is slammed in her face.

She runs home.

_Now the lesson's learned  
I touched and I was burned_

The doors to the Waverly Sub Station burst open, and Alex runs inside and into the kitchen. She finds her father and Max. In desperation, she cries, "Where's Justin?!" The customers cannot help but stare.

"He's upstairs. Alex, what's wrong?" her father asks. She doesn't answer and begins to go upstairs, but she feels a hand clench her wrist. It's Max. He looks up at her with a worried look in his eyes.

"Let go, Max," she grits her teeth. He doesn't budge.

"I'm sorry, Alex, but there's something wrong with you," he says innocently. She has never seen her younger brother look so worried.

Her father looks up at her, "Alex Russo, what is going on?"

"I can't explain," she screams. "I need to talk to my brother!" She forces her wrist out of Max's grip and jogs up the stairs.

She doesn't see him in the loft, so she runs down the hall into her brother's bedroom. Without knocking, she opens the door, and finds Justin sitting on his bed, reading. Instinctively, she jumps onto the bed and clutches her brother and begins to sob uncontrollably.

"Alex?! What's wrong?" he asks. She can't answer, she can't speak through the pain. "Alex, what's going on?"

Her words are muffled by the sobs, but he understands, "I can't be with Dean. I don't love him at all. _I miss you._"

He doesn't answer. He just listens to her cry.

"He wanted more than just love. It was disgusting, Justin," she says, her tears clearing up. "I don't want anyone except _you, _and if I can't have you," she sits up and wipes a tear from her eye, "Then I don't want anything at all."

"Alex..."

She looks to her brother and realizes how much she's been missing for the past four months. She realizes that she can't remember what holding him felt like, what kissing him felt like, what her perfection felt like. She missed his voice, his eyes, his love. Her heart hurts from the pain and the lies she gave and told to Dean. She feels sorry for him, sorry that she ever pretended to love him at all. She feels sorry for Justin, for telling him the lies that she loved Dean at all. She feels sorry for herself, for ever thinking that things would ever get better, when they were perfect from the start.

"Justin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you, Dean, and myself," she sighs. "I know you've moved on Justin... but you deserve the truth."

"Alex, I'm sorry too," he says. She looks to him, why does he need to be sorry? What did he ever do? "I'm sorry I was so stupid for letting you go like that. You deserve the truth too... I never did get over you."

She stares at him, hardly believing his words. She looks directly into his eyes, they don't hesitate. "But you... you were happy for me."

He shrugs, "I guess I'm just a better actor than I thought I was."

Her heart feels light, a smile, a _real _smile, reaches her lips. "Really?"

He doesn't respond with words. Instead, he presses his lips to hers, air rushes out of her lungs, and she smiles. She glides her tongue along the edge of his lip, and she feels perfection once again.

_In your eyes, I'd like to stay._

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_**A/N: ... Okay, so it wasn't the best. I think I like everything before the end. But... I think it's the happiest ending there is. Justin could have really moved on... but that would make a little longer story. Plus I want happy. xD. So maybe I've been a little harsh to the Dean/Alex relationship, when in truth, I REALLY like it. I just want to use Dean because, well, who else could I use? Dean's awesome.  
So... now that you've finished the story, why don't you click the button under these words? ;)**


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